Vicki Anderson

I am retiring this year. My plans were to retire at the end of 2011 but I have a couple small projects that are still in the works for a few more months.

I have had the great pleasure to work with many wonderful people and organizations over my career. As I look back I am rewarded with thoughts of the growth I have seen in those I coached or who participated in training programs. I have often asked leaders to consider what legacy they will leave by being a leader. I hope my legacy is one of helping people develop leadership skills that matter for getting peak performance in their teams.

I am ready to move forward to new challenges working on projects that have not been identified yet. I am ready for a new chapter in my life and am already involved in several areas of interest. This will be my last blog and it will be taken down in a few months. Best wishes to everyone for success.

One of my favorite quotes from a former friend was, “The grass is always greener where you water it.” When you feel sorry for your lot and think things would be better somewhere or with someone else, stop first and think about what you have done to make the best of your current situation. What have you done to water and fertilize the place you are right now? Have you invested only the best of you into the relationship or job? Or, have you laid back expecting someone else to do for you what you could do for yourself? Have you tried removing the obstacles to happiness so the good can shine through? Have you found champions to help and support you in your quest for excellence?

As we are starting into the next year of political mania, the presidential “wannabes” are trying to say that we will be better off with one of them. How do we know we will be better off? The power of the government does not rest in the hands of any one person. I am not in favor of any particular party or person at this point, but I do find it interesting to listen to all the hype about how it will be better “if only” another person were in office.

I think the “if only” that needs to be considered is how we individually become accountable and hold our elected officials accountable. What are we investing of ourselves to make sure we are good citizens of the U.S.? What are we contributing to the process so that it can be successful no matter who is in the presidential seat?

Anyone who owns a business knows that you can be the best manager or leader in the world, but with the wrong employees you will not succeed. Whatever president we have needs to know that we citizens want to work for the greater good of the U.S. We can complain about how bad things are, or we can do whatever small things we can to make our lives better. Let’s spend our energy in watering and fertilizing the grass we have. Make a difference in the world around you by being helpful, creative, and loving. Then help others around you do the same. You will gain resilience and strength, which are the basics for weathering change positively. And, you can count on change happening.

I recently witnessed a leader who had bottled up their feelings about a topic until it burst out in a tirade that was painful to watch. It made the leader look bad and just made everyone uncomfortable, not knowing what to do or say. Have you ever witnessed one of these?

It just goes to prove what I have always said, and that is to deal with issues as they arise. Don’t bottle it up. What this leader had to say was right on, but the words were preachy because there was so much emotion tied to them. It seemed that it was spontaneous as well, which is another recipe for disaster.

Whether you are addressing an issue with one or a roomful, it pays to think about what you want to say so that you can be tactful, professional, and address only the issue, not blame the person. Once people feel they have been damaged, their response will be to put up their defenses. When that happens, they are not listening; they are only figuring out how to flee or fight back.

Being tactful and professional is not very easy when you are in an emotional state, which is why you should always address issues before they get you into that state. It is much easier to talk about an issue calmly when it has just happened. Be specific about what you saw/heard and want changed. Then be quiet and allow the other person to respond. It is less likely they will get defensive when you are specific and timely. It is very embarrassing to think you have been doing something that irritated another or made repeated mistakes but no one has said anything until much later. You thought you were just fine. So, find a time to discuss it very soon after the occurrence of the problem.

Finally, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Why would a reasonable person do what the other person is doing? It is easier to talk calmly when you try to see the other side and you will get a better reception for your thoughts.

Last night I attended a retirement celebration for a colleague of mine. He was the head of an organization to help manufacturers by connecting them with financial, management, process, and business resources. He said he was overwhelmed at the number of people who attended, but everyone else knew that they were there because of their relationship over the years.

He was someone who knew virtually everyone everywhere he went and knew something about them. When he talked with you he would ask about your business, about your children, about what you had learned lately that was interesting, etc. Then he would share news he had learned from his travels around the country. His natural curiosity led him to discover the new and relate it to the old. When he saw you again, he would ask how things were going and likely would mention something you told him before. You see, you had a relationship.

This man was respected and admired, as well as loved, for the personal way he approached his business. He was all about helping you with your business. He loved putting people and resources together as he came upon potential matches. Then he would get out of the way and let you figure out how to make it work. He was helping you build new relationships.

I served on his board for a number of years and the days I would ride with him to another city to meet would be filled with information sharing as well as the collegiality of laughter. He was easy to laugh and hard to say a bad word about anyone.

He says he wants to spend more time on the golf course, but I suspect he will continue pollinating the countryside wherever he goes with relationship building for success and friendship.

Who’s got your back? Who’s holding your hand as you walk a new path? Who is challenging you to go where you are afraid to go by yourself? Who is your Bob or Jillian? As a consultant and coach, I am a support to my clients who want to discuss ideas, I provide feedback, and I support them as they try new things. I sometimes teach when they want or need new information.

While I don’t scream at my clients like Bob and Jillian do on “Biggest Loser” I do help my clients pull back the screen and be honest with themselves. So often we want to be different. We want to try something new, but we have deluded ourselves with our own story so long that we believe it is the only truth for us. Sometimes having an outside person can help you get perspective.

This morning as I was doing exercises on my Wii Fit I tried a couple new exercises that I couldn’t do very well. What I like about the Wii is that it gives you some feedback. It’s not always that accurate if you aren’t really trying because it can only measure certain movement. However, it does give you a sense of your fitness level if you are doing it right. And, you can do it in the privacy of your home without being embarrassed.

The feedback is the biggest part of support, I think, because having someone or something outside yourself give you a reality check helps you move toward your goal. It provides accountability. If you are really trying to make changes, you need some kind of support. Ask a friend, a colleague, a family member, or an outside expert to meet with you regularly to discuss your progress and your practice. Keep track by writing it down. Document what you did to get you where you are and what you plan to do next. Before you know it, you’ll arrive at your goal and you’ll have someone to celebrate with.